Spring Time

I like springtime, I like what it offers, new beginnings. Sometimes I have so much to say I can't get it out, but today all I have to say is I like spring and I like new beginnings and I am very glad that I am alive with my spring chicken hair. It's going to be a while before I get back on my blog, have company coming for the holiday...that's exciting. It's nice to be worried about getting all the cooking, cleaning, table setting done for Easter.......instead of when my next chemo is and how I will be feeling.

Just happy holiday wishes to all.........be safe and be with those you love!!!

People Say the Darnest Things

"I love your haircut" strange lady at Walmart.

"Thank you?" Donita

"How do you get it so short?" strange lady at Walmart.

"I had cancer, this is from chemo, I didn't "cut" it." ECT.

"Did it kill you?" strange lady at Walmart.

o_O

18 Days

I have 18 days of spring breaks ahead of me. I will be so happy when my children get on the same schedule, because one of them is always in school, which means no sleeping in for me. I am a little off the hook lately with my "outings" in the evenings. I guess I stayed away from so many people for so long and so many people took care of me that I have a much larger "friend base" than I did before I got sick, so I'm enjoying time with all those people.

It was actually a blessing that I got sick. I have made so many more friends than I would have otherwise and it has made me really appreciate Florida. If you talked to me prior to this date, you know what a hard move it was for me. Texas has some imaginary string that attaches itself around you and when you move it is constantly tugging on you. I would have never cut that string had I not gotten sick and HAD to rely on people in Florida. Seriously, this is the best place ever.

For example, this morning I had chocolate chip pancakes with my dear sweet friend in a local bagel place, she referred to it as a "breakfast Cheers" which it so was, I love those places. Then I headed down to the beach and walked, and when I was done soaked my toe in the ocean. My tat has no scabs or anything, looks good, but I've been soaking it every day in the ocean. Soaking your body in the ocean every day is awesome, it's so therapeutic to these bones. On a negative note, some of my bones have really been hurting lately. I think this is a side effect from the chemo and radiation, my hip and my knee HURT, but the salt water really helps it. The wind was blowing and the beach was gorgeous, blue water, just so pretty....it's hard not to be happy.

(If you're a girl you will really appreciate this) I was soaking my toe watching one of the....what's the word.....HOT.......lifeguards swim in the water with my ipod in my ear kinda tapping my toe (if you will) to this beat just staring, probably (realistically) drooling when all of a sudden I realized he was swimming straight for me. It was like Baywatch or something, he got out of the water, walked straight towards me and said "Do you have cancer?" I just nodded my head (I was afraid if I talked it would really be a dream) and he grabbed my hand and kissed it and called me "cancer princess" and said his Mom had cancer and she was "clear" for 15 years now and he wanted me to know that "I was an awesome fighter". I just smiled and I think I said thank you and he swam off.

Love Florida........

Odd...to me

I have been told numerous times since I "freed" my head how beautiful I am. I know, that sounds so crazy conceded, but I don't mean it that way. What I mean is, we as a society, spend so much money on our hair. Crazy amounts of money. And these people are saying to me I'm beautiful with no hair......you can see where this doesn't make any sense.

I get that people are trying to be nice to me and may not literally mean beautiful but figuratively and supportively mean it. And that's great, because as a baldie that's what I love hearing, it makes me smile every time. It does bring up your spirits.

I am so hesitant to now spend lots of money on my hair, but we all know I am seriously going to forget this when it's time to go get those highlights. I just thought it was an interesting observation, I get way more compliments bald than with the $200 haircut/highlights/products......

My favorite part of the obviousness of having cancer is the stories random people tell me. They usually start like this "My Mom died from breast cancer.........." which makes me a little sad in the beginning, but their story usually ends with "......I am praying for you". Happened at the McDonald's drive through, the lady was handing me my iced mocha (has something crazy addictive in it -beware) and she said, "are you just done with your treatments (that's when I know immediately that they have been directly affected-they know the lingo) my Mom died from breast cancer....(she knew I had breast cancer because I have a shirt on that says Dig Pink....fight for a cute) and I'm fighting for you all the way and I'm praying for your family." I said "I'm done" and she said "Honey, you still need those prayers so I'm a prayin".

See, that's just nice. Nicer than the guy at Publix the other day who wanted to "kick my bald ass." :)

How Time Flies!!

I can't believe it's been over a week since I wrote on my cancer blog. Maybe it's because I'm pretending that this chapter in my life is over. I know it's not gone, but the unfun part is over, of that I am convinced. I know this because last week I jumped into "precancer" life with both feet. Took off my hat, drank alcohol, went out, danced, got a tattoo, so I'm good. Yes, got a tattoo. If you know me well or long, you know I was adamantly opposed to tattoos. Judgmental, I know, but come on I'm from Texas and they pride themselves on being judgmental and cocky. It's ok, I'm trying to learn from my mistakes. But I totally "get it" now as it relates to tattoos. I wouldn't get one just to get it, but I LOVE it and every day it reminds me to love with a little bit more compassion and kindness. To be a little less uptight and a little bit more fun. To go and sit at the beach and skip the ironing. See, these are things I would not have done in the past. I am very good at my job, I am on top of all things at home at all times, but now I don't worry about it being perfect. I worry more about whether or not my children are getting a good education and are learning to laugh at the small things, I want everyone I know to have to skip the "lesson" with this and just let me tell you. You don't need to go through all this that I went through, so love more laugh more and just be happy!! (wait isn't that a song??) It sounds so sappy, but it's so true. The tattoo was a chapter ending for me or maybe it was a chapter beginning, depending on if you're half empty or half full and I've always been half full, so it's a chapter beginning.

Head Debut

It's official, I debuted my head this weekend!! This weekend has been crazy fun and so nice to be back to normal, regular routine.....regular life.

We started by having a swim meet and a water polo day Saturday, poor Nick swam in 4 events (including the im-which he rocked) and then played FOUR water polo games. This was the first time in a very very long time that I did my volunteer job (I run the computer) in a long time and it felt great. It felt great to get so many hugs and loves. I sat at the water polo games out in the sun with no hat (need to get those free highlights) and just watched the games. Didn't feel bad or hot or self conscious or anything, I just felt regular.

It wasn't a weekend without long stares and lots of double takes, but people can't help it, it's not their fault. They actually feel a little bad when they figure out I'm bald from something "bad".

Went out to dinner Saturday night in Boca with some dear friends who held our hands so tightly during my pink path, and for that I will be ever grateful. We had a fabulous steak dinner and several bottles of wine. Yes, you read that right, wine. Not only wine, I actually had my first official seven and seven after about seven months of no alcohol at all. I'm not a huge drinker, but it was so much fun to cut up and just have some drinks.

Sunday (which came really early after such a fabulous dinner and losing an hour of sleep) we headed to downtown Hollywood for the St. Patrick's Day Parade and Will's school's principal was the parade's Grand Marshall. It was such a fun parade, we really love Hollywood. Saw lots of people I hadn't seen in such a long time. And I didn't wear my hat. This was my favorite comment, " oh, you DID loose your hair, we were wondering." ....................

Headed down to the market on the beach (Josh's) and then had an ice cream twist and sat on the beach and watched the seagulls fight over a piece of pizza. It was a lot of fun and I am so excited to be back in our regular routine of busy weekends and social events. A little secret, I'm whipped. I could easily snuggle into bed and be done for the night, but I have do that annoying parenting thing, it's always around!!

Tomorrow I'm going to talk about Sesame Street....................

Good Mood

I'm in such a good mood today, even though the weather is horrible, it's not bothering me at all! I guess since my horrible awful stomach virus went away and I have so much more energy!!

I am not even letting a peeling breast and underarm bother me. And I can promise you I haven't experienced that before, and don't want to experience it again. It's quite uncomfortable and unfortunately I can't just "let it be". I have to put this oil in it FOUR times a day. That's absolutely restricting as far as social events go, let's just say I wash a lot of undergarments. That's another thing that will be awesome, to resume regular undergarments, these "cancer" bras are annoying and not very helpful. If you don't have cancer you probably don't want to know that, but lots of people read this who do have cancer and they get it.

I was thinking this morning I want to do something with my slightly used cancer items. I haven't googled it, so it probably exists, but I was thinking about a local "cancer consignment", you know slightly used items for those who can't afford the wigs, hats, hair pieces, special shirts, etc. Or if they just don't want to spend all the money, cancer is expensive.

But I have no idea how to go about it. If you have any ideas, or suggestions, please message me or email me (DonitaWheeler@aol.com) or become my facebook friend (Donita Bath Wheeler), maybe it already exists and I can just make a huge donation and if it doesn't exist I would love to start one.

Oh guess what.........I saw the psychic in Publix the other day, she was down one aisle and I was down another and Nick was with me, we hauled it and escaped her......but I bet my Mom is right....I bet I see her again!!!

It's A Little Surreal

I had my last radiation treatment today, all done. There's no more cancer...there is no more treatments....there is no more chemicals going into my body. I feel so weird.

When I went to camp in 9th grade in Colorado, I got off the plane and burst into tears. My parents thought that I had had a terrible time, but that wasn't the case at all, I had a complete and total blast, but the overwhelming feeling of all the emotions of the week at camp hit me all at once, at the end.

That's how I do things, I don't cry when it happens and I don't react really, but when it's all over, that's when I fall apart. I am great in emergency situations, calm and level headed. I can handle bad news really well and I can go through whatever I need to go through to get the job done.

My graduation from radiation is a little clouded today because I have a wicked stomach virus. It's like the eyebrows/lashes, I go 7 months without any sickness and the day I graduate from all treatment I get a horrible (I mean BAADD) stomach virus. I couldn't hug anybody at radiation and I can't go for a fun lunch today. But that's ok, I'll make up for it!!!

I still have lots of doctors appointments next week, so I'll still be writing!! Thank you for always being there for me!!

A Little Sad

I have been pretty upbeat, only sad once in a while. I'm sad today, my eyebrows ALL fell out this morning and my eye lashes just have a few hanging on. I know beauty is only skin deep, but I sure feel sucker punched........

Only Four Left!!

I went today to the doctor check up and she said I needed to start icing my area 3-4 times a day.........more fun. You know what, I only have four left, so whatever she says I will do! After my trauma on Tuesday, I will just do whatever it takes to be DONE!!! My hand is really sore, they put my iv in on my pointer finger...painful!

Florida has been COLD, let me repeat, COLD. Seriously, not joking, COLD. I thought about complaining and then I thought, you know I could be doing all of this in 88* plus 88% humidity, so I think I'll keep quiet. It's so much better for the area to not sweat, apparently that can cause some problems, so I guess I will just be grateful it's cold.

My hair is baby fuzzy hair. It's almost like this......

No Kidney Stones

I went and had my radiation this morning and the radiologist wrote me a script to get an xray to rule out kidney stones. Because last night at 2:36 am I woke up and thought someone was repeatedly stabbing me in the back, it was horrible, I was up for hours. Finally feel back asleep at 5:50am only to be back awake at 6, oi!!

I went and had the xray done and it showed no kidney stones, but the radiologist wanted me to go to the ER to see what it was, they wanted to rule out any metastasizing of my spine. That was a scary thought, we went straight away. Checked in the ER at 9:30ish and they immediately set me up with an IV and some really good drugs that took all the pain away. Then I went and had a CT scan and then I waited and waited and waited and waited.

FINALLY, they came back and said I had no cancer in my spine, I had no kidney stones, I had a really bad muscle spasm and gave me more really good drugs. While that's all well and good that I have the drugs to help me out, I can't take them, they are all "do not drive" drugs. So hopefully I can take them at night and slowly this horrible pain will go away!!

Thank you so much for all your prayers and calls (messages, texts, emails) this was a scary day for me, I was terrified when I thought I might have cancer in my back, so very grateful that I don't!!!!

Going to the ER

Can't take it anymore, headed to the ER, will write when I know..........prayers!!!

I'm Dying

I either have a kidney stone or I've got a back that is in a permanent stage of Charlie horse and I'm in some serious pain. Thank goodness I have some left over pain pills from the surgeries, but I am telling you this is flipping PAINFUL.

I'll let you know when I know what it is!!