MRI Results

I got them and they are a ok!! Sigh, huge sigh of relief.

I don't get scared or worried when I'm waiting, I wait until I find out everything is ok to freak out a bit. I have like heart palpitations and a nervous stomach AFTER I hear everything.....strange.

I am in the worst mood. I spent five hours at the neurologist this morning. If you recall (or update if you didn't know) in 2007 I had my dura spontaneously combust. (which is a little funny because I always said I might spontaneously combust-watch what you say!!) They never knew why, 11 days in the hospital and they finally just gave me a blood patch and said "see you later."

I think I mentioned a few weeks ago they thought I had had a stroke because I felt as though my brain was "shaking." Literally, like someone was shaking it inside my head. The neurologist tells me, go straight to the hospital, so I did. EVERYONE looked at me like I was certifiable.

"What do you mean it's shaking"...........WTH...........can I be anymore direct and descriptive, it was SHAKING....LISTEN.

So they give me 100 tests, MRI/brain, more tests make me spend the night and when the neurologist who was with me back in 2007 said, "I don't know what you mean" and walked out of the room, I thought...oh it's neurologist shopping time.

I have the belief that looking for a neurologist when you need one isn't a good time. But I knew I needed to find another one fast. Oddly enough, the day I was in the hospital we were having some work on our roof done and Whit was late to meet the roofer and told him "sorry my wife's in the hospital...blah blah blah".....and John asked him why and he said she has dura problems and John said so does my wife. Ends up we were using the same doctor and we both thought he was a less than educated or effective doctor. I should have been blogging then (episode in 2007) the situation was beyond ridiculous.

I guess John went home and told his wife and then came back to the house with this name of a neurosurgeon down at University of Miami who only goes by word of mouth. Apparently John's sister's cousin's dog's nephew new him and said he was the best. I was a tad but skeptical, but had limited resources at the time and the idea of sitting in 10 neurosurgeon's offices and having to go over my history was more than I could handle so I thought, ok.....we'll give it a go.

Took 3 weeks to get into him and I had a 10 am appointment. Saw him at 1pm.....the office staff doesn't have a very favorable opinion of me, will take years to earn that back. Actually had enough time for Memorial to fax over 43 pages of my records, so I guess that was a good thing, silver lining.....


I get in there and we go over everything. He doesn't say a word (probably because he is the one who actually walked over when I was discussing with the front desk that a 2 hour wait was not acceptable and he said "I'm worth the wait." I might have responded, "I sure hope so." I didn't realize I said it out loud.......wink wink.

Actually backing up a little bit, when he was about to walk in the door where I was, another man came and found him to tell him his insurance had dropped him and he was freaking out, so behind closed doors they went for another 45 minutes. I burst into tears, literally sobbing in the doctors office (in the room by myself) and I could NOT get it together. Thank goodness for that 45 minutes, I'm so blessed he's such a kind man and spoke to the needy patient. Had resorted to solitaire when he walked in and just sat down.

Back to going over everything, he puts me on a table and does two tests, this is after me telling him an hours worth of my life history as it relates to the dura and tells me, "you have a leak". My biggest fear right there in front of me. My heart started pounding and all I could think was that needle going into my spine again.

"Caledonia (my real name) you have a leak. You will not die and you will not have it fixed. You will monitor it and if it becomes worse (headaches) we will give you some medication to reduce your ability to make spinal fluid. We will get you two vaccinations for meningitis and you will live everyday a safe and happy life with a slow leak. You're biggest threat is getting meningitis and if you get the incurable headaches we will do a blood patch or surgery, but you will not die and your brain shaking that you feel, is literally shaking, that is exactly what is happening. It means nothing. You're brain is like a meatball in soup and when the liquid capacity is adjusted the meatball moves, this is what is happening to your brain. The meatball never falls apart or burst, neither will your brain. You are safe and you are healthy, you just have a leak"

He went on to say "Reading your records I don't believe your dura burst spontaneously. This is brought on by trauma. (I was in a wreck in college) it takes years for the dura to react to traumas. (I've always considered myself so very lucky to have walked away from that wreck alive, logistically we should have both been dead, we were saved-literally and figuratively)


And with all those word I was set free of my dura prison. Set free from being terrified I was going to break it again, set free from wondering how in the hell someone spontaneously combusts, set free from all the fears I had from the unknown. I now know everything that is going on and I'm NOT crazy, my brain really shakes. But I'm not dying. I've been terrified I was going to die from this since 2007.

This should make me very happy right? Just like the MRI results.....you know what I did? Got into the car after being there five hours and it ONLY took five hours to solve something 15 doctors and 10 hospital days couldn't solve. Got into the car and burst into tears, cried for 20 minutes.

Now I'm just tired and Nick has a doctors appointment tonight, yay, more time at the doctors.

He was indeed right, he was WELL worth that wait!

MRI Fun

I had to have my annual MRI today, I hate it. No real reason to hate it other than it will tell me if I have cancer again. Makes me a little gun shy, don't really want to know the results. I mean I do, but I really don't. I am thinking positive, mostly, but in reality the day I have this MRI done, I don't think that positively.

Got to the check in and there were at least 100 people there. Maybe this is normal for some of you, but this is not normal for my experience at the Memorial Hospital on Johnson. No, they had a new system that they installed on May 1st. Saturday morning at 8am, they called me for a pre-registration setup. They woke my up on one of about 5 Saturdays a year that I don't have to be up for anything and they asked me to preregister for my MRI on Monday. I told the lady in my really sweet "you just woke me up on a Saturday" voice that I had just had an MRI not two weeks ago and NONE of my information had changed. Ok, but we still need to update it. So I twilighted my way through that conversation and figured I was ready to go.

It didn't really matter to me that they were running 2 hrs behind at the hospital EXCEPT I had already taken the valium that I get to take and I was ready to go. I told then when I got there that I had preregistered at 8am on Saturday, so I should be good to go. Oh yes, usually that is the case, today however, since they were installing new software they didn't have the ability to access that information and I would need to be registered again. My valium brain was cool with it and I just sat down. But I did acknowledge back somewhere in the back of the completely valiumed-out out mind that it was exceptionally annoying that this woman insisted on talking to me at 8am on a Saturday and the effects of my valium might not last as long as needed.

FINALLY, I got back to the MRI room and we were just about to get started and I started panicking. It was so uncomfortable. You lie face down with each boob in a separate area and you arms are above you. They you are backed into the MRI machine for an hour. AN HOUR. Seriously freaking out, wanted to leave.

Enters Prince Charming with another valium. Somewhere in my valiumed-out out mind I had forgotten that I had TWO pills and my awesome husband put the other one in his pocket. I swallowed and away I went for an hour. Typical of a hospital, they wake me up to tell me I have 15 more minutes of the MRI.....why can't they just let you sleep? I spent the next 15 minutes wondering how long I had until I could move my right arm and remove the painful numbness that had occurred during the last 45 minutes of peaceful sleep. Then it was over. Just like that.....and just like that......they will call me in 48 hours and tell me "it's all good" or "make an appointment".