Chemo #4

The Dr. didn't confirm it, but said most likely tomorrow will be my last chemo treatment. I sure hope so!! Because I have no plans to show up for any more! I was whining about my treatment last night and here's what William had to say "Mom, just deal with it, one more treatment and you get to live a long life." See, no sympathy here! I understand that people don't really know what to say but I want to whine a little bit. So I'll whine on my blog.

Whaaaaaa I don't want to go tomorrow!!

#1 was tough, just knocked me out

#2 was pretty easy, up and around quickly

#3 was TERRIBLE and I was so very very sick

#4 I just want to skip

Supporters tell me it's going to be like #2, and that's what I'm going with, just to get me in the door. Just yesterday was the first day I actually drove by the building without gagging. It's the strangest thing, the word chemo makes me gag. Typing it is easier!

I haven't put up any Christmas decorations yet either. Christmas was very nice this year. We had no company at all, family being considerate of our situation and letting us have a quiet year, eerily quiet. (secret- we prefer company!) We have had no urgency at all, which is probably why all my decorations are on my dining room table and not in their boxes. I look forward to next year, crazy busy times and lots of company! :)

I received a very special card yesterday from a dear friend and in it was a donation to the American cancer society, that made me smile so big, thank you C!!!!! Those are the sweetest and really give me so much support. You have no idea how much support it takes to get me into the building tomorrow. I save it, I have a "support account" inside me that records all cards, emails, texts, and calls and that's what gets me through the door, THANK YOU!!!!

I do have some side effects kicking in, it's my two temperatures, freezing and burning. It's making sleeping very difficult, I wake up so many times a night in a sweat and then freezing, over and over and over again. It's making me look really bad, dark circles under my eyes. My eyes are acting strange. I've lost some eye lashes, but my eyes are twitching LOTS and I'm having a hard time seeing, this is lots of fun.

You know what's weird, no matter what I do today, tomorrow will come.........:(