Sigh....

Sometimes you watch people you love go through things and wonder why....why are they going through this....they aren't a bad person, they aren't a law breaker, why is karma treating this way.  Is it possible it is just a facade, that the person isn't who they represent themselves to be?

I feel like I'm that person that just has to get repeatedly slapped in the face to "get it".  Most people take a slap and walk away with the information that represented that slap.  Not me, it takes me numerous times to "get it".  However, I am not willing to compromise what's inside my heart to "get it" faster.  I guess the end of this story is I will just be the repeatedly slapped person.

I currently have about five people in my life who are giving me the slapping treatment and I am slow.....but I'm getting it.  I am now wondering what's going on with these people.  Incidentally, these are people who I'm not allowed to "pull my cancer card" with (complete side note, I love it (sarcasm inserted here) when people who DON'T have cancer get to tell me the rules for those who actually possess a cancer card....anywho) them either.

I feel like I may have lost you, I am just frustrated with some current relationships in my life that seem to have a common theme and I'm trying to vent my frustrations without being specific.....another tough thing to do.

It's not only people who are giving me these issues, it's my body as well.  Radiation is slow in showing its damage because I felt just fine right after it, but my body doesn't seem to be agreeing lately and that has me off kilter.  You just want to feel better and you want to feel better fast, and my body is NOT cooperating.

It goes back to last post about only being sure about just that, you can't be sure about anything.  I have to say I hate leaving the land of blissful ignorance...it was so much easier....and this related to health, family and friends.......I'd like to change my name to Wendy and never grow up.