Exposed!

First things first, I heard that they know John is ok, he is the man who runs the orphanage in Haiti that our church sponsors. They think the children are ok too, but waiting for more updates. Please keep praying for all the brothers and sisters in Haiti. Where I live (just a few miles south of Ft. Lauderdale, FL) we have the highest population of Haitians in the USA, so many have been affected and need any donations you may have available.

Let me just say, I have no idea why people say the things they say to me. I have always been that way, people just say crazy things to me. I think there is a neon sign above my head that says "go ahead and say anything, I won't react". I wish I had been armed with the information about hats and women in church prior to going into church. I had a friend tell me that women are never required to take their hats off, another friend tell me that in the Catholic church head dress used to be required, so I have no idea who this man was or why he was being so ridiculous. These situations seem to happen a lot to me, but each one is a learning experience.

For example I learned that men don't like me to be sad, they just want to 1) solve the problem 2) make me laugh. Women want to 1) discuss it 2) weigh options 3) empathize with me and 4) get a general consensus and let me say I need ALL of these six options lately!

Yesterday I spent the entire day at the hospital. I had to be there at 6:30am to get my echocardiogram and back at 12:30 for the radiologist. Foreshadowing.....there is just no bashfulness allowed with this crowd.

I got to the hospital for the echo and was taken back to the "area" where they do it by a very nice Asian-American man. We went into a little room and he said, "Everything off waist up." (btw, it's chilly in there). I get changed and in he comes. Last time there was a nurse in there (female) the entire time. Not that I'm suggesting anything odd, I'm just saying there was two people there.

I'm going to get a little graphic, so if you don't want to know, stop reading.

I'm up on the bed and he's got the sonogram thing and he's got my robe open with a warm blanket (one thing I LOVE about hospitals-warm blankets) covering my breasts. Then he puts the gel on (not warmed gel that I'm used to) and bam, goes straight to the heart spot. My blanket falls on the floor and he just leaves it there.

I am wrestling with whether or not to ask him to pick up the blanket or not and he's pressing and pressing and pressing with this sonogram reader thing. Apparently he's not interested in viewing the exposed breast, he is interested in making sure that the sonogram thing is pressed so hard against me that I'm just sure it's going to burst through my skin and go straight to my heart, for a really thorough view.

Then I am not positioned right so he keeps moving me. No blanket, still on floor and when he moves me he keeps using my breast as a "handle" to move me and his hands are very cold. Again, I can clearly tell he's not interested, it was just rather uncomfortable. I don't even know this man's name and he's rearranging me using my exposed breasts. Uncomfortable. I know that people at the hospital don't care, but I care, usually you have to do something nice to get that view.

Then he says "bleeeee" and I was like "what??"

"Bleeeee"

No reaction from me, is he saying "bleed" what the hell is he saying? He's getting very annoyed with me.

"Bleeee, bleeee, bleeee," and finally he breathes in and out.

"Oh, you want me to breathe"

Sure, I'll breathe, why not, I couldn't be any more uncomfortable at this point, what's a little breathing?

I go back to the hospital for my radiation appointment and Ted comes out to get me. We go back to the ct room for a ct scan, a little bit different than the regular scan and he's explaining to me the difference. He tells me to undress from the waist up and lay down on the "bed" for the scanner. He tells me to leave the ties in the back. Good, that's better than this morning's events I think.

He disappears and comes back later and gets me positioned on the scanner bed. I'm laying there and he takes the robe and takes both of my arms out of the robe and folds the robe down at my waist. What the hell, again, really? Why didn't you just have me leave it open in the front?

My robe is now turned down at my waist and he's positioning my arms above my head. He's a little chubby and while he's doing this his tummy rubs up again my breast. OMG, it was so uncomfortable. Not for him, he probably didn't even know it he sees breasts all day long, but for me it was the second exposure of the day. He gets me all situated and says, "let me call the Dr in", and he disappears for a while.

I just lay there on the scanner bed, breasts exposed, arms above my head. It was at that point that I thought, wow, this is just like childbirth, everything out there for everyone to see. I'd like to see them do that to a male in his lower areas, you know, just put it out on the table and position everything and then leave the room. How do you think that would work out? Especially if a female nurse did it??

Anyway, the Dr. comes in and she and Ted and discussing my breasts, like I'm not there. "Oh yes, this looks great, here and here and here and oh yes that's a good spot and this is perfect." Then she leaves and he gets out a GIGANTIC needle and starts tattooing away. Once he's done, we go onto to discuss his wife and his tattoo and blahblahblah, breasts still exposed.

I couldn't get out of there fast enough. I know at this point I should be over being bashful, but wow, let's just put it all out there. And I forgot, they take a PICTURE of everyone's breasts. They took the first one and it didn't come out, so they came back and took a second one. What exactly is Ted doing with all those pictures of all the breasts??!!??!!