Immediate Screeching Halt

You know when you're driving down the street listening to a good tune day dreaming with a smile and all of a sudden you are in a situation where you come to an immediate SCREECHING HALT. That's what cancer feels like.

The most frustrating thing about having breast cancer is most days you feel normal. You do normal things (for me I get kids everywhere and work on my book(s) keep my "boards" going, do my volunteer work, cook dinner (when my arm is working) , etc) and then all of a sudden something reminds you, oh yea, that's right I have cancer.

Then you're sad for a moment or two. Next you find a way to cheer yourself up and keep on going. I will just be glad when I don't think "I have cancer."

Technically I don't have cancer anymore, but since I'm not done with all the cya part of cancer, I still think I "have" it. That stinks too. No actually it really sucks.

Dr's appointment tomorrow, hope to find out the path results (in concrete since I already know preliminary was negative) and more chemotherapy information. My brain is beginning to sneak over to "chemo land". I need information-my imagination is just a bit too much for me.

The other day I watched Bucket List, bad idea, started freaking out and looking up side effects. Then believe it or not ECT got a hold of me and lectured me for a good mental 10 minutes until I just shut the computer and put it down.