We had a great weekend, game for Will on Friday, swim meet all day Saturday, dinner with girlfriends on Saturday night, Sunday the organic market and the beginning of Nick's huge face and then the Dolphins game. I personally really enjoyed the game because 1) it was my first dolphins game and we were on the 50th yard line in awesome seats 2) we were playing the Saints and my two favorite teams growing up were the Dolphins and the Saints so I was happy with the outcome, regardless of who won.
The dentist said that it's not his tooth, so we're now at the pediatrician's office waiting for him to be checked out. We have an appointment with the ENT at 11:30 also. Something I love about South Florida, you can get into ANY doctor at ANY time, it's awesome. It's 9:08 am and we've already covered two doctors (with no appointments).
I really only had a few minutes over the last couple of days to worry about tomorrow. Last night I started "thinking" and had that elephant sitting on my chest again. I don't even know what word would cover how I feel right now. Scared doesn't quite cover it, nervous doesn't quite cover it, anxious doesn't quite cover it, I don't know. Maybe scaxious that's how I feel.
All I know is I have my first chemotherapy for breast cancer tomorrow. Maybe I don't know how to feel because I haven't done it before. Like child birth, you just sort of figure it out while it's going on. You are prepared, you have all the physical equipment and you have the mental stories and suggestions, however I am thinking it parallels anything you have done for the first time. You know that incredibly uncomfortable feeling you have in the pit of your stomach that your not sure what to do with. You do anything and everything you can think of to make it go away and when it doesn't you just find distractions. That's where I am right now.
It's a good thing (don't get me wrong I would never want my children to hurt I am sad for Nick and I hope they figure this thing out quickly) that I am sitting here waiting to find out what's wrong with Nick instead of pacing around the house doing all the things that need to be done "before chemo".
Nick just told me he was afraid he had "caught Mom's breast cancer" in his cheek. :( Poor baby, that makes me so very sad, he never says anything about me, but obviously he is scared. I have reassured him and the dentist reassured him that this is not possible. I guess everyone in the house is putting on their brave face. I sure hope that this pink path provides the boys with some positive experience that they can use to grown and be a better person.
UPDATE: Nick has the mumps.....................
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