Guess Where I Am??

My home away from home, the hospital. Here for the post port check up. I must have strained it yesterday at some point because my sealant has a blood drop in it. They put a super glue like substance on the incision and I can see through it, it's interesting. I had a dream I ripped it out (but the blood was way before that, I didn't touch it in my sleep!)

I'm in the CCU waiting room and everyone is crying, it's making me sad. Makes me want to have the crazy people back, at least they don't make me sad.

Tomorrow I'm excited because I have an appointment to go to the beach and walk and swim (up to my waist) and have breakfast with my friends, I'm so excited and I miss walking on the beach every day. I walked on Tuesday, but that's not much for this week and next week isn't looking good either. Of course, it's so blooming hot here I am thinking it may be a blessing in disguise. Supposedly on Sunday it will "cool down"

Today I feel ok, not overwhelmed or irritated, I think that this will all work out. I understand that realistically it's going to happen whether or not I am ok with everything, I just think it's easier to do if you're more on the "ok" side. I think this entire thing sucks but I get it, I get that I have to do this and that there will be good days and bad days (funny how that mimics life a bit) and that this new full time job is a temp job and will go back to normal soon. I'm trying really hard to just swallow hard and smile and do it. The nurse told me yesterday that 99% of chemo is my mind set (disregard that they are pumping me full of multiple chemicals-the outcome is all in my mind) so I've decided the side effects I can handle and the side effects I can't, I passed that along to the dear Lord and I even told the universe, so I've done my job it's time to just sit and see what happens.

These poor sad people, I hope their day improves!