Skip the Sympathy

My cancer was a shock. I am a healthy 41 year old with no family history of cancer. Especially breast cancer. It's so surreal when you get the call from the radiologist that you have a cancer and it's not benign. You hear the words and understand the results, you just don't digest the concept. Since cancer patients are tended too pretty quickly, you usually don't have much time before they start treatments. (Or you can be like me and know for 4 months and still not have taken that first step yet). Some people are really good at never sharing their feelings or their lives, I've always admired that quality in people. I never even stood in line for the "keep your life a secret" gene.

IF I had to do it again, I'd treat it more like a pregnancy and wait until I was already to the point of obvious before telling anyone. That is not to imply that ALL of the support, calls, cards, emails presents and words are not 1000% appreciated and desired. It's simply just a life lesson.

I was reading another pink pathers blog and she was talking about the inability to hide cancer. Just like pregnancy, it shows. There are plenty of diseases you can defeat without any physical signs. If there are some signs such as, fatigue or swelling, or lack of color (something along those lines) those are easily explained away with a mention of the most current virus or pandemic wandering around the world. But not with cancer.

Why am I mentioning this? Because I'm still caught up with the hair thing. I know it's vain, insecure, easy to grown back, etc etc etc but I'm still adjusting. I am reading blogs that from those who are charting their hair progress and seeing people/meeting people showing me their progress and with all this information I am still freaking out. I sent my girlfriend in Texas an email yesterday asking her to fix me up some hats, if anyone can make my head shine, it's Melinda, because I'm still trying to adjust to possibly not having any hair.

I don't want people to stare at me with the "oh, I feel sorry her , she's so young and she's got breast cancer" look. So instead of feeling sorry for me, do something else with that energy. Spend the 2-3 minutes making your Dr's appointment for your mammogram or pelvic exam or colonoscopy or prostate exam or when things just don't seem right. Take care of yourself, eat well 6 days and splurge 1 day instead of splurging 6 days and dieting on Mondays. Walk a few times a week, go outside an get some fresh air, and really really do it. I don't take pity well and refuse to accept that I am the kind of person who needs pity, so do me a favor and use that time for yourself.

P.S. This is not to be confused or switched with the 2-3 minutes a day that you pray for me or send me a card or make me a meal or pick up my child or send me an email, I still NEED that!!